When in Rome, do as the Romans do - not

I am in Rome. If I based my actions on the old saying above (don't know the source off hand), then instead of gawking at all these amazing, not to be missed sights, I would:

• spend two hours in the morning primping and preening in front of a mirror
• walk purposefully from my apartment to public transport without even glancing sideways
• scowl at other Romans who checked my progress
• ignore every historic site or sight.
• buy and drink an espresso in one smooth movement while standing on the pavement and then bugger off immediately
• glance at my reflection in shop windows at every opportunity while walking at a brisk pace
• smoke a cigarette, then another cigarette, then another one until I reach my destination

On reflection, I think it best to not do as the Romans do when in Rome. I've paid a lot of money to get here, so I intend to follow this newly coined and essentially boring saying: "when in Rome, do as the tourists do".

I know it's not as catchy as the original, but it's much sounder advice.