I just found the solution to all my marking woes over at chemjerk:
1. Place 16 oz. beer glass in freezer approximately one hour before pouring.
2. Open beer bottle. For certain brews, this may require a special tool.
3. Pour beer into frosty mug.
4. Find and depress the symbol “A” on the computer keyboard.
5. Repeat steps 1 to 4 as necessary.
Now you'll have a principal who "...absolutely loves you because your students and their parents never complain."
If only I'd thought of that myself.
I will add to it, however: “Make sure you have a "fire" and all the papers were tragically lost, but luckily you had just finished recording all the marks.”