- spend two hours in the morning primping and preening in front of a mirror
- walk purposefully from my apartment to public transport without even glancing sideways
- scowl at other Romans who checked my progress
- ignore every historic site or sight.
- buy and drink an espresso in one smooth movement while standing on the pavement and then bugger off immediately
- glance at my reflection in shop windows at every opportunity while walking at a brisk pace
- smoke a cigarette, then another cigarette, then another one until I reach my destination
On reflection, I think it best to not do as the Romans do when in Rome. I've paid a lot of money to get here, so I intend to follow this newly coined and essentially boring saying: "when in Rome, do as the tourists do".
I know it's not as catchy as the original, but it's much sounder advice.