Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I have never given much credence to reports of UFO sightings, alien abductions and the like. However as a skeptic I am always prepared to change my mind in the light of new evidence. I now have incontrovertable evidence that there are aliens amongst us.

My revelation came from a recent camping trip, when I was forced for the first time in decades to use public multi-cubicle toilet facilities. In such odorous and unpleasant settings I became aware that a significant number of "people" engaged in non-human behaviour. In particular: (1) reading or using a laptop whilst evacuating their bowels; (2) not washing hands after the deed was done; (3) not using a paper towel to turn off a possibly faecally contaminated tap; (4) not using a paper towel to open a possibly faecally contaminated exit door; (5) not covering the toilet seat with paper prior to sitting down; (6) not washing tap and door handles (in the absence of paper towels). But the clincher for me was the occasional person who failed to put copious quantities of toilet paper in the bowl before doing the deed. The "kersplash" and "tish" noise made by these users indicated that they did not mind getting their posteriors splashed by the disgusting multi-user faecal soup in the bowl. THESE "PEOPLE" ARE CLEARLY NOT HUMAN.