From the CHOICE 2006 Shonky Awards we have Ten products to make you weep in despair.
Here is my personal favourite:
The CHOICE Shonky for a Lot of Hot Oxygen
Feeling tired? Run down? Flat? Then you could drink 10ml of this product’s “bio-available oxygen” once or twice a day and “keep your body topped up with oxygen” for “enhanced quality of life”. Or you could breathe — which is widely regarded as the platinum standard for oxygenating your blood. And it’s much cheaper too: the 250ml of de-ionised water, Atlantic sea salt and “bio-available oxygen” that make up OXYGEN4LIFE cost us $55.
At least after being talked to by the NSW Food Authority, the company has revised its labelling and removed a number of health claims.
WTF?. But wait, there's more:
The CHOICE ‘Pigs Can Fly’ Shonky
LIFE MIRACLE Magnetic Laundry System
Add these two magnetic balls to your washing machine instead of detergent — so the promise goes — and they’ll clean your clothes with “nature’s most powerful force”. If they meant ‘water’ by that, we’d agree — washing with the balls and plain water had about the same cleaning effect as washing in plain water alone (the centre and right swatches respectively in the photo above; the one on the left was washed in detergent).
Why you’d want to add $80 worth of magnetic balls to the water is one of life’s true miracles.
The next isn't a WTF? But why would you get an iPod when you could get a pocket pc, like my beautiful Dell Axim?
The CHOICE iSHONK for Dual-level Shonkyness
Goes to the…
An iPod is a significant investment, so you don’t want your APPLE to be a lemon. And if there is something wrong with it, you’d expect an easy repair and warranty service. Podluck.
Level 1. Several readers complained about cracked screens, faulty batteries and problems with sound reproduction.
Level 2. APPLE doesn’t allow retailers to handle complaints under warranty (which is their obligation under Fair Trading laws) — you have to send your faulty iPod to APPLE yourself via Australia Post. And if they decide the fault isn’t covered by the warranty, you’ll have to foot the entire bill.
And maybe this could make a good bumper sticker?
Special Mention - The CHOICE Shonky for Shonkyest Quote
“We don’t consider wholemeal flour to be a characterising ingredient in wholemeal bread.”
Awarded to a manufacturer of wholemeal bread, for their creative interpretation of what is or isn’t a characterising ingredient according to the Food Standards Code.
Hat Tip Ben