Monday, June 26, 2006

Global warming causes my clothes to dry quicker

I've sent this amazing story to ABC News in the US.

Dear ABC News,

I've noticed over the last few years that when I hang my washing out to dry, it has started to dry quicker than it used to. I believe this is firm proof of global warming and it's effect on my "everyday life". I have written this preliminary note to point this out to you, but as requested, I'll make a video too. I've also noticed that I have to mow the lawn more frequently in the last few years - I've set up a time lapse camera to film this and I'll provide the footage shortly - more proof of global warming.

Regards, Theo Clark

Why would I send such an obvious load of rubbish to them you ask? Well, they asked for it:

Witnessing the impact of global warming in your life?

ABC News wants to hear from you. We're currently producing a report on the increasing changes in our physical environment, and are looking for interesting examples of people coping with the differences in their daily lives. Has your life been directly affected by global warming?

We want to hear and see your stories. Have you noticed changes in your own backyard or hometown? The differences can be large or small — altered blooming schedules, unusual animals that have arrived in your community, higher water levels encroaching on your property.

Show us what you've seen. You can include video material of the environmental change, or simply tell your story via webcam.

I guess one can't expect members of a news team to be able to understand such complex concepts as the False Cause; Correlation Error.

I am coping reasonably well by the way. The increased rate of grass growth (thus an increase in the frequency of lawn mowing) is annoying, but I do like the fact that my clothes dry quicker.

Update: David Icke points out in his comment that global warming is actually a fiendish plot by shape-shifting reptilians; groundwork for their immanent invasion of earth.

I have noticed an increase in Gecko numbers over the last few years… Perhaps this is a product of global warming too? Though I hadn't considered the possibility that this was an alien invasion from an extra dimension. I just assumed they were from China or something.

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(Via Tim Blair)