Feel free to use this ad hominem attack next time you are stuck talking to a believer of conspiracies:
Look, all your points are utter crap and I won't even pretend to humour you. From my own experience, those who believe in conspiracies are either completely delusional and out of their minds, or so moronic they put the ‘M’ in stupid (or both); with the one notable exception being renowned intellect Charlie Sheen. You're not Charlie Sheen, so which category do you belong to?
This would obviously need to be modified when talking to Charlie Sheen.
Tagged - Fallacy Skepticism, Personal Abuse.